Getting Canned...Episode III

A little over a year ago Russell did a 2-part guest post taste testing canned coffees, specifically Japanese canned coffees.  After 4 cans, he was finished because all the sugar was making him sick.  If you are interested, you can read his original posts here and here.

I recently went down to Los Angeles with my parents to attend my cousin Ada's wedding & on our way home, we made our obligatory stop @ the Marukai market for some fresh sashimi & fish collar.  While my parents were picking their way through the fish, I was wandering around for snacks.  I came to the refrigerated beverages aisles, saw all kinds of canned coffees that I had not seen @ home before, & it dawned on me: it's time for another round of taste test!  My dad was completely unfazed when I loaded up the shopping cart with cans & cans of coffee...but I think that's because I promised to pay him back.

When I got home & was putting the cans away, I thought that rather than putting my coffee snob of a boyfriend through another tasting, I should do it myself.  You can keep reading for the details but the take home point is "don't waste your money, it's not worth it."

Specimen #5: Dydo Original Blend Coffee
Like all the other canned coffees we have tried, this one is way too sweet; however, it did have much more coffee flavor than the ones I have had before.  Even though it doesn't look like there is milk in the coffee, it tastes a little bit like it does.
Volume: 6.7 fl. oz.  Calories: 70  Sugar: 13g

Specimen #6: Mr. Brown Iced Coffee
This coffee was not very sweet.  It was milky but not overly so.  Unfortunately it did not have a lot of coffee flavor.
Volume: 8.12 fl. oz.  Calories: 103  Sugar: 18.5g

Specimen #7: UCC Black Coffee
This is the first canned black coffee I have had & without distractions from the milk & sugar, the lack of coffee flavor really stand out.  The good thing about this is that it comes in a really cool-looking bottle.
Volume: 9.7 fl. oz.  Calories: 5  Sugar: 0g

Specimen #8: Pokka Milk Coffee
This was honestly the worst of all the canned coffees I have ever had in my life.  It was very sweet & it was very milky.  Actually, it reminded me of the milk you would have left over after finishing a bowl of fruit loops.
Volume: 8.1 fl. oz.  Calories: 100  Sugar: 16g

Specimen #9: Pokka Aromax Black Coffee
The first sip made me feel like I was drinking real, albeit pretty weak, coffee.  Unfortunately, every sip afterwards was really bland.
Volume: 5.8 fl. oz.  Calories: 0  Sugar: 0g

Specimen #10: Lotte Let's Be (Mild)
This came in very, very close to being the worst.  It wasn't coffee'y, it wasn't milky, it was just sweet.
Volume: 5.92 fl. oz.  Calories: 70  Sugar: 15g

Specimen #11: Dydo Milk Coffee - Yamitsuki
Yamitsuki in Japanese means "addicted", at least according to Google Translate.  While this was one of the better contenders of this taste test, I don't think I will ever become addicted to it.
Volume: 16.9 fl. oz.  Calories: 200  Sugar: 40g

Specimen #12: Suntory Boss Black
I was looking forward to trying this one because on the can it says "made with espresso & drip method."  The coffee tasted bland but somehow was able to leave a fairly strong aftertaste on my palette.  Bonus points for the name.
Volume: 6.52 fl. oz.  Calories: 0  Sugar: 0g

It took me about 10 days to finish trying all these cans & bottles of coffee because (1) my system doesn't handle caffeine the way it used to & (2) these just did not taste good; nor were they satisfying (they're tiny).  Like I said before, these canned coffees are not worth the money & even the black coffees were disappointing.  Should I keep trying to find the best canned coffee there is, or should I just call it a day & accept the fact that a good canned coffee probably doesn't exist?